“It’s all about relationships” is a phrase I have heard often in my life and in many different contexts. From learning to navigate the dynamics of the playground social structure to the practice of diplomacy between my siblings, learning how to have healthy relationships is an essential building block of our personal development. In college, my academic advisor once shared with me that “Who you know will get you the job and What you know will keep you the job.” Obviously, this is not a universal truth, but the concept of ‘who you know’ has held up for me. The relationships I developed with coaches, teachers, professors, employers, supervisors, pastors, and other mentors, have steered the course of my life. When I think back on the lessons imparted from developing relationships, I recognize that I learned about the type of person I wanted to be from emulating positive mentors. I also learned, from watching the adults in my life, about behaviors that damage relationships and how not to treat others.
The 4-H Thrive Model of Youth Development (Arnold, M.E., 2018) places relationships within the context of our 4-H county programs. The relationships that our 4-H’ers form with club leaders, county agents, camp counselors and each other are key to their growth and success (Arnold, M.E., Gagnon, R.J., 2019). The Search Institute conducts research that seeks to define and understand the developmental relationships between youth and caring adults. These positive relationships lead to social, emotional and cognitive learning, feelings of connection and ultimately help youth to thrive. Five elements that adults can demonstrate, through intentional actions as they interact with 4-H youth, are to express care, challenge growth, provide support, share power, and expand possibilities (Roehlkepartain et al., 2017).
Our 4-H agents in South Carolina work so hard to be warm, inspiring, dependable, and encouraging guides for our youth. This isn’t by accident (although I would argue that the mission of the Cooperative Extension Service attracts people with similar characteristics and personality traits; that is for another blog post). South Carolina 4-H Youth Development (SC4-H) is uniquely positioned to build relationships with youth, volunteers, families, and community collaborators. Relationships take time and effort. As positive youth development (PYD) professionals, 4-H agents provide opportunity to influence a young person’s growth by being trustworthy, praising effort and achievement in 4-H projects and camps, providing ways to challenge youth, and by ensuring that each child has a safe space (body, mind, and spirit) to learn from mistakes and setbacks. Through caring relationships built in 4-H, mentors and youth work collaboratively and youth voice is valued and encouraged with youth taking both action and responsibility for decisions and learning to lead.
Thinking back on your own developmental relationships, who has shown you that you mattered to them, pushed you to keep improving, broadened your perspective, and supported you in achieving your goals?
Relationships can be difficult and sometimes painful. The social skills we develop as we build healthy developmental relationships will impact every area of our lives. In SC 4-H, we provide experiences and skill building opportunities, we introduce youth to new ideas and get to travel to new places. Interested in learning more? You can start by reaching out to your local, county 4-H agent and start building your own relationship with 4-H today! We are gearing up for a summer full of residential summer camp, workshops, day camps, and projects. Welcome! We are looking forward to getting to know you better.
Sources:
Arnold, M. E. (2018). From Context to outcomes: A thriving model for 4-H Youth Development Programs. Journal of Human Sciences and Extension, 6(1), 141-160.
Arnold, M. E., & Gagnon, R. J. (2019). Illuminating the process of youth development: The mediating effect of thriving on youth development program outcomes. Journal of Human Sciences and Extension, 7(3), 24–51. https://www.jhseonline.com/article/view/901
Roehlkepartain, E. C., Pekel, K., Syvertsen, A. K., Sethi, J., Sullivan, T., K., 7 Scales, P. C. (2017). Relationships first: Creating connections that help young people thrive. Minneapolis, MN: Search Institute.
Search Institute (2020). Developmental relationships framework. Minneapolis, MN: Author. Available at: https://www.search-institute.org/developmental-relationships/developmental-relationships-
The 4-H Thriving Model
August, 2021
