In May, Michael wrote in this newsletter about being impartial when you are asked to be involved in your colleagues’ conflicts. For the most part, you all get to choose when you want to be impartial and when you want to take sides; we in the Ombuds Office do not. Remaining impartial is a core value of Ombuds work, and it allows us to mediate conflict, facilitate conversations, pass messages from one person to another, and ensure everyone’s perspectives get airtime in a discussion. I consider remaining impartial to be quite the luxury: While I can care deeply about the people and the situations that come through my office, I also am able to at some point let go of the situation and recognize that it is not on my shoulders to fix. Maybe an advisor asks me to offer mediation to their supervisor. I can offer it, but if the supervisor declines, I have no authority to compel it. I can walk the advisor through what they might do next, but a situation cannot be mediated by the Ombuds until everyone agrees to come to the table.
Sometimes, though, impartiality has a dark side. When someone comes to me with a concern, my job is to help them feel heard and identify their options. At times I can form a bond with this visitor (as we call people who come to our office), and I think that makes it better for both of us. However, occasionally, this bond makes any reminder about impartiality jarring and almost disloyal.
I had a situation this past semester where an employee decided she wanted me there when she confronted her supervisor with perceptions of how the relationship was going. This employee was fed up with what she reported as verbal abuse, micromanagement, and social undermining. After talking about the specifics of how a conversation like that would go, the employee decided to have the conversation without me. Specifically, she was disappointed that I would give her supervisor an opportunity to bring up any concerns she has had in the relationship. In other words, a conversation with an impartial party facilitating cannot be one-sided, and this employee was not looking for a two-sided dialogue.
I can acknowledge that sometimes it is disappointing to share your situation with someone who has to remain impartial about it. It can certainly be challenging not to act when I feel strongly about a situation! But impartiality does not have to mean stoicism or a lack of empathy. It just means that the other person—the one who in your story might be the bully or the villain—is going to get full access to the Ombuds’ time and empathy too.
If impartiality is not what you are looking for—that’s very understandable! The Office of Human Resources, counseling services, and your own supervisor, colleagues, friends, and family do not have to practice to the standard of impartiality. They can join you in believing the other person is a jerk and that you have done nothing wrong. And if that’s what you need, we will help you identify them and get to the right resource. But if you are looking for someone everyone can trust to sit in the middle and facilitate a conversation, give us a call.
What is the Ombuds Office?
The Ombuds Office is a confidential, independent, neutral, and informal space for staff to process concerns, get information, and develop options for how to move forward in a difficult situation. I can provide education, conflict coaching, mediation, and facilitation as well as referrals to other resources across Clemson. If you are unsure how to move forward in any way, I can help you work through it.
Tessa Byer
Phone: 864-656-5353
Email: tbyer@clemson.edu
Address: 135 Old Greenville Hwy, Ste. 203 (Next to Esso!)
Save the date for upcoming trainings offered by the Ombuds Office:
Don’t Tough It Out: Difficult Situations at Work
Friday, Sept. 11, 2026, from 9:00 to 12:00
In-person at University Facilities Center, sign up here: https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/cf15179e/sessions/7126/enroll
Navigating Intergenerational Workplaces
Friday, Sept. 25, 2026, from 9:00 to 11:30
Virtually only, sign up here: https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/8c562aa0/sessions/7128/enroll
Giving Effective Feedback
Wed., Oct. 14 from 9:00 to 10:30
Virtually only, sign up here: https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/3bc50439/sessions/7129/enroll
Emotional Intelligence at Work
Friday, Oct. 30, 2026, from 9:00 to 11:00
In-person at University Facilities Center, sign up here: https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/1be18cf1/sessions/7130/enroll
Combating Burnout and Cultivating Resilience
Friday, Nov. 6, from 9:00 to 11:00
Virtually only, sign up here: https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/86042925/sessions/7132/enroll
