Tag: Ombuds

We all know the traditional picture of a leader: someone with a corner office, a fancy title, and the final say, but the most dynamic and successful teams aren’t led by just one person at the top. They thrive because leadership is distributed at all levels of the organization. As leadership expert John C. Maxwell states, “Leadership is a choice you make, not a place you sit” (Maxwell, 2006).

No matter where you sit within your organization, you have the ability to influence those around you.  Here at Clemson, where innovation and collaboration are a significant part of the strategic plan, mastering the art of leading your peers is essential. This is how we amplify our impact, solve tough problems, and build a workplace where everyone feels empowered to contribute.

So, how do we do this? It comes down to three fundamental strategies:

1. Build Trust and Empathy

Trust is what holds teams together, especially when you’re leading your peers and teammates without formal authority. Empathetic trust is built through your efforts to be a genuine, consistent and reliable teammate—someone who is honest with others and creates psychological safety for others to be honest too.

Imagine a co-worker needs help with a difficult report. Be a teammate who doesn’t just offer advice but instead devotes their time, being willing to step in to assist if needed. Ask them: What can you take off their plate?  What can you do to help? Is there something you can take on, so they can focus on this project? Offering assistance isn’t just about being helpful; it creates trust and acknowledges the human element of office interactions.

When your peers know you’re reliable, dependable, selfless, and trustworthy, they will begin to look to you as a leader. [TB1] When an informal leader shows they care and are willing to step in to help others, they elevate the entire team. When others feel like you care, they’re more likely to consider your ideas, which opens the door for you to guide and influence.

2. Find the Best Solutions

Since good ideas are the building block of innovation within an organization, it is important to invest time and energy generating and fostering ideas. It is also natural to fight for your own ideas because of this investment, but a peer leader is more focused on the success of their team than their own personal agenda. Maxwell urges us to remember that “we aren’t perfect and maybe we don’t have the best ideas, but we should cherish and protect the creative people on our teams and their ideas, even if that means your idea gets refined, or even replaced, by someone else’s” (Maxwell, 2006).

Now imagine that you spent the last month brainstorming, developing and preparing a proposal presentation for an important stakeholder. Two weeks before this meeting, you and a colleague separately present your ideas to the rest of the team. After hearing your colleague’s proposal, you can see how some of their ideas are better than your own. As a peer leader, you decide to collaborate with your colleague to develop the best proposal, sharing the praise and credit, instead of pushing forward with your own and taking the praise for yourself.

The mindset where you actively solicit, value, and integrate input from your peers fosters an environment of psychological safety and shared ownership. When your peers feel their voices are heard and their contributions genuinely valued, they become more invested in the outcome and more willing to follow where the collective best interest leads. It’s a mindset where we can build something better together than we can on our own.

3. Create a Shared Destination

Even without a formal title, you have the ability to provide direction by helping your team visualize the shared destination. Leading your peers is often about providing the context and rationale that connect your daily tasks to the broader organizational mission, such as Clemson Elevate. When a team understands the bigger picture behind their daily work, they move with greater purpose and alignment. As Doug Thorpe describes, “Leading your peers is about becoming a reliable source of insight, solutions, and clarity allowing others to understand the bigger picture, positioning yourself as the beacon who connects daily work to the ultimate organizational mission” (Thorpe, 2025).

Imagine you have a co-worker who is frustrated with your department’s new tracking system and is struggling to see the value in moving away from the old system. As a peer leader, you don’t just focus on the technical execution; instead, you help your co-worker see the purpose behind the change. You take the time to explain how the change supports the strategic plan of the University and how their specific role is vital to that success. By serving as a beacon of clarity, you help your colleagues find meaning in the mission. When everyone can see the ultimate destination, they are more motivated and more likely to respect the informal guidance that helps the team reach its goals.

Unleashing Our Collective Potential

Peer leadership isn’t just a theory; it’s something you can put into practice today. By focusing on trust, finding the best solutions, and creating a shared destination, we unlock a dynamic that elevates ourselves, our departments, and Clemson University to new heights.

Sources

• Maxwell, J. C. (2006). The 360 degree leader: Developing your influence from anywhere in the organization. Thomas Nelson.
• Thorpe, D. (2025, August 12). Leading without authority: The art of influence in modern organizations. Doug Thorpe. https://dougthorpe.com/leading-without-authority-the-art-of-influence-in-modern-organizations/

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What is the Ombuds Office?

The Ombuds Office is a confidential, independent, neutral, and informal space for staff to process concerns, get information, and develop options for how to move forward in a difficult situation.  I can provide education, conflict coaching, mediation, and facilitation as well as referrals to other resources across Clemson.  If you are unsure how to move forward in any way, I can help you work through it.

Michael Scott

Phone:  864-656-6353

Email:  mesctt@clemson.edu Address:  135 Old Greenville Hwy, Ste. 203 (Next to Esso!)

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Save the date for upcoming trainings offered by the Ombuds Office:

Don’t Tough It Out:  Difficult Situations at Work

January 21, 2026, from 9:00 to 12:00

Virtually only, sign up here:

https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/cf15179e/enroll

Emotional Intelligence at Work

February 2, 2026, from 9:00 to 12:00

In-person at University Facilities Center, sign up here:

https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/1be18cf1/enroll

Teamwork that Works

February 26, 2026, from 12:00 to 1:00

Virtually only, sign up here:

https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/f60659b8/enroll

Combating Burnout and Cultivating Resilience

March 6, 2026, from 9:00 to 11:00

Virtually only, sign up here:

https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/86042925/enroll

Navigating Intergenerational Workplaces

April 10, 2026, from 9:00 to 11:00

In person at University Facilities Center, sign up here: https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/8c562aa0/enroll

It has been a long few weeks.  There is a lot going on globally, nationally, locally, and across Clemson.  Our departmentThe holidays are here!  Many of us will spend some time with friends and family members from all over the world and potentially all over the political and social spectrum.  If there is one thing I have observed during these politicized times, it is that I cannot always predict how someone will vote or what they will care about based on my previous interactions with them.  During these holidays, I’m going to be around people who disagree with me—even about some of the big things. 

How do we handle this?  I’ve written before about staying in the room with difference and the AND stance, which can help us accept that we do not have to agree in order to be productive colleagues and loving family members.  But as we go into some family time, let’s look at another strategy:  Setting the parameters of a conversation. 

In some families, politics and social issues are on the menu for the holidays.  In others, they are not invited at all.  Setting the boundary of no political talk is healthy and reasonable.  But what if you want to dive into political conversations?  What if you and your family members like to dissect the previous year’s political machinations and share opinions about what has happened?  Or what if you want to have some of these conversations, just within reason? 

Enter parameters.  Parameters are the guardrails you put on the conversation.  You might be willing to discuss your political views about a certain issue, but not who you voted for or what you think of certain leaders.  Maybe you define the objectives of the conversation.  Instead of trying to convince each other of your own political opinions, you agree that your objectives are to understand where each other has landed and why.  Parameters can also address the time and place.  Maybe you are willing to talk about these things, but only for an hour.  Or only while cooking, not while sitting down for a holiday meal.  Parameters are essentially boundaries that you put around a conversation that could become tense, adversarial, or emotional. 

My big brother and I have some major disagreements about big things.  He recently asked me to have a conversation with him.  I told him I would only be comfortable with a conversation if our objective is to understand each other’s differing perspectives, not to try to convince each other of anything.  He did not agree.  He struggles with the fact that we disagree on this issue, and he wants to make a case again about why I should abandon my “side” and join his.  I gently let him know I can’t wait to hang out with him for Christmas, but I’m not willing to talk to him about this issue until he relinquishes the desire to change my mind.  (I doubt we will ever talk about this issue.) 

Maybe you are like my brother in that story.  You want to bring up politics, and you know if your loved one would listen, they would see the light and amend their ways.  Maybe you are like me.  You are willing to talk, but you have accepted that you will continue to disagree.  Maybe you want to stay as far away from these conversations as I want to stay away from the holiday abomination my husband makes us purchase—eggnog! 

No matter where you fall, decide what parameters you are comfortable with.  Decide what you are willing to discuss and share, and what you want to protect or avoid.  You cannot force someone to sign on to your parameters, but they cannot force you to talk about something outside of the parameters you are comfortable with.  Setting parameters for a conversation is like going over the rules of a board game.  If you can’t agree on the rules, then don’t play the game.  The holidays can be hurried, overwhelming, financially demanding, and emotional.  They also can be restful, fun, and recharging.  Don’t let conversations you have not signed up for derail the good stuff. 

Happy holidays from your friends in the Ombuds Office!  We wish you relaxation and peace throughout this time. s it might not be possible for you.  

Box #1: 

What is the Ombuds Office?

The Ombuds Office is a confidential, independent, neutral, and informal space for staff to process concerns, get information, and develop options for how to move forward in a difficult situation.  I can provide education, conflict coaching, mediation, and facilitation as well as referrals to other resources across Clemson.  If you are unsure how to move forward in any way, I can help you work through it.

Tessa Byer

Phone:  864-656-5353

Email:  tbyer@clemson.edu

Address: 135 Old Greenville Hwy, Ste. 203 (Next to Esso!)

Box #2:

Save the date for upcoming trainings offered by the Ombuds:

Don’t Tough It Out:  Difficult Situations at Work

January 21, 2026, from 9:00 to 12:00

Virtually only, sign up here: 

https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/cf15179e/enroll

Emotional Intelligence at Work

February 2, 2026, from 9:00 to 12:00

In-person at University Facilities Center, sign up here: 

https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/1be18cf1/enroll

Teamwork that Works

February 26, 2026, from 12:00 to 1:00

Virtually only, sign up here: 

https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/f60659b8/enroll

Combating Burnout and Cultivating Resilience

March 6, 2026, from 9:00 to 11:00

Virtually only, sign up here: 

https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/86042925/enroll

Navigating Intergenerational Workplaces

April 10, 2026, from 9:00 to 11:00

In person at University Facilities Center, sign up here: 

https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/8c562aa0/enroll

It has been a long few weeks.  There is a lot going on globally, nationally, locally, and across Clemson.  Our departments are dealing with financial changes, increasing workloads, and new systems to learn.  Our people are encountering more that threatens to divide us, and I fear some of it is.  My phone recently suggested to me an article with a title like, “Civility is Dead.”  I chose not to read it (partly because who has time to read right now?), but the title stuck with me because I wholeheartedly disagree. 

The halls of a university are the place where disagreement is not only possible; it is encouraged.  When students are taught critical thinking, the implication is that they make up their own minds about the bigger questions of the day; they don’t just accept what professors or other students or scholars of the past have concluded.  And when their conclusions differ from other’s conclusions, that disagreement is not ignored or catastrophized.  Disagreement is just another participant in the classroom and in the research lab, a fixture that is always allowed but not allowed to take over. 

Civility, then, is being able to keep working together and collaborating even when disagreement is present and when the topic is difficult and personal.  You can hate a colleague’s take on current events and still greet them in the morning, ask about their sick dog, and work with them to complete a project.  Civility is saying, “I’m not going to relinquish my beliefs, and I’m not expecting you to relinquish yours.  But I’m going to see you as human first.” 

I was recently working with some undergraduate students as they processed recent events.  In this group, they had different takes.  They had different heroes and villains in the narratives they told.  They disagreed about a lot.  And they listened.  They pointed out where they agreed with each other.  They acknowledged that they did not know everything and while they felt strongly, they made space for each other to argue the other side.  They were civil, respectful, sometimes kind.  It was an emotional meeting, and it was a productive one. 

So amidst all this division, how do we stay civil? It is not easy, but it is simple:

• Listen to each other.
• Acknowledge what you hear others say.
• Highlight your common ground and where you agree.
• Separate someone’s worth from their opinions.
• Do not flee or shut down at the first sign of disagreement.
• Commit to creating an environment where membership on the team does not depend on people’s opinions or voting records.
• It’s okay to be disappointed in someone’s stance; you can still be their friend, family member, and colleague.

Civility is hard.  Sometimes it might not be possible for you.  But it is not dead.  In fact, we are the ones who have to keep it alive.

Box #1: 

What is the Ombuds Office?

The Ombuds Office is a confidential, independent, neutral, and informal space for staff to process concerns, get information, and develop options for how to move forward in a difficult situation.  I can provide education, conflict coaching, mediation, and facilitation as well as referrals to other resources across Clemson.  If you are unsure how to move forward in any way, I can help you work through it.

Tessa Byer

Phone:  864-656-5353

Email:  tbyer@clemson.edu

Address: 135 Old Greenville Hwy, Ste. 203 (Next to Esso!)

Box #2:

Save the date for upcoming trainings offered by the Ombuds:

Cultivating Resilience

November 3, 2025, from 9-11 a.m.

Location: University Facilities Center

Training Registration

Emotional Intelligence at Work

November 14, 2025, from 9-11 a.m.

Location: Virtually only

Training Registration

At Clemson University, we’re all about innovation, teamwork, and making a real impact. Whether you’re in a big meeting or just grabbing a coffee, you’re constantly trying to get your point across and inspire others. But let’s be honest, a dry presentation of facts and figures doesn’t always cut it. So, what’s the secret sauce for making your ideas stick? Storytelling!

It might sound old-school, but telling a good story is a superpower in today’s world. It’s not just for campfires and bedtime; it’s a critical skill for any staff member looking to lead, influence, and connect with colleagues (Simmons, 2001).

Your Brain on Stories : It’s All in the Connection

Ever notice how you can zone out during a lecture but hang on every word of a great movie? That’s not just you—it’s your brain! As author Lisa Cron (2012) explains, our minds are naturally wired to crave narratives. When someone tells a story, their brain and your brain actually sync up in a process called neural coupling (Hasson et al., 2010). It’s like a mental high-five that makes you feel connected and helps you understand and remember the message.

Stories tap into the parts of our brain that handle emotions and memory. That’s why a story about a challenge a team overcame is way more memorable than a list of project milestones. It’s not just about what happened, but how it felt. That emotional connection is what truly makes a message stick.

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Why Stories Make You a Better Leader (and Teammate)

Think about the best leaders you know. They don’t just give orders; they inspire. They build a culture where everyone feels like they’re part of a bigger mission. As Paul Smith (2005) notes in his work on business narratives, leaders use stories to articulate their vision and build rapport.

A good story can help you:

• Build Trust: Sharing a personal, authentic story—even one about a failure—shows vulnerability and builds rapport. When your colleagues see you as a human, not just a job title, they’re more likely to trust you.
• Clarify Your Vision: It’s tough to get people excited about a new process or project. But frame it as a story where your team is the hero on a quest, and you’re the guide helping them achieve something great (Miller, 2017). Suddenly, it’s not a chore—it’s an adventure.
• Drive Change: Want to get everyone on board with a new idea? Don’t just present the plan. Tell a story about why the change is necessary, what the future will look like, and how they’ll all be part of the solution.

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Your Guide to Becoming a Storytelling Pro

Ready to level up your influence? Here’s a simple, step-by-step guide to crafting a powerful story that will grab attention and get results (Dicks, 2018; Biesenbach, 2009):

Step 1: Know Your “Why”

Before you start, ask yourself: What’s the point of this story? What do I want people to do or feel after they hear it? Whether you want to get a project approved or motivate your team, your goal is your compass.

Step 2: Find Your Core Message

Boil your idea down to a single, memorable message. Is it about the power of collaboration? The importance of innovation? This is the theme of your story.

Step 3: Build the Adventure

Every great story has a beginning, a middle with a challenge, and an end where the hero overcomes it. Don’t be afraid to include a little conflict! The struggle is what makes the resolution so rewarding.

Step 4: Make Characters Relatable

Whether you’re the main character or a colleague is, make them relatable. Audiences need to connect with the characters to care about what happens.

Step 5: Sprinkle in Emotion

Use vivid details to make your story come alive. Instead of saying, “The project was difficult,” describe the late nights, the frustrating roadblocks, and the moment of breakthrough. Make people feel what you felt.

Step 6: Stick the Landing

End your story with a powerful resolution that ties back to your goal. Make it clear what the takeaway is and what you want them to do next.

Step 7: Practice!

Practice makes perfect. Rehearse your story out loud and pay attention to your tone, body language, and pacing. The more you tell it, the more natural it will feel.

So, the next time you have an idea to share, think like a storyteller. You’ll be amazed at how a simple narrative can transform your message and help you inspire real change at Clemson.

Are you and your colleagues on the same page?  Are you thinking about your work in the same way?  Do you see your objectives and your challenges similarly?  Being on the same page is what researchers call shared cognitions, which impact the way your team interacts, communicates, and accomplishes tasks.

People are different and come from different perspectives.  This is what makes working in groups so enriching and at times—so difficult!  But the idea of shared cognitions is more basic than the personality and style differences that might exist on your team.  While different team members might approach a problem differently, shared cognitions are about how we are defining the problem and what we ultimately think our team is responsible for. 

In the book Teams that Work, Tannenbaum & Salas (2021) identify 8 shared cognitions that are important for team effectiveness.  They are listed in the table below.

Questions To Ask	Type of Shared Cognitions
Where to?	Vision, purpose, goals
What’s important?	Priorities
Who should?	Roles and responsibilities
How to?	Tasks, norms, interdependencies, expectations
Why to?	Rationale and connection to larger organization
Who knows?	Expertise on the team
What if?	Contingencies and succession planning
What’s up?	Situational awareness, team cues

Does your team know the answers to these questions?  Would you all answer these the same way?

I once worked with a team that was experiencing some conflict.  As we set out on a dialogue session, I realized that some of the team thought their biggest problem was how the team interacted internally, and some of the team thought their external partners were causing their problems.   This difference in problem definition caused reactions, plans, and perspectives that that team members could not understand.  Instead of just working on why each person behaved a certain way, we needed to go back to how everyone was thinking and get on the same page about that.  What problems were happening internally, and how did the team plan to address those?  What problems were happening externally, and how did the team plan to address those?  Shared cognitions are the foundation upon which interdependence, collaboration, and team success rest. 

Here are some strategies for assessing and converging the cognitions that exist on your team:

• Communicate!  Share perspectives.  Allow others’ perspectives to emerge. 
• Establish a team charter or shared expectations document for how you will work together.  (The Ombuds Office can help with this!)
• Allow time for brainstorming, and refrain from evaluating the ideas that emerge. 
• Have everyone write down what the goals or objectives are for the team, and then compare what everyone has written.  This can highlight similarities and differences in how the team sees the work.   
• Create a visual map of the team.  Who has expertise in what area, and who can back that person up?
• Cross-train each other, both to ensure backup and to enhance understanding of what each teammate does.
• Debrief after projects or events that required coordination and teamwork.  What went well?  What could be improved?

Is your team on the same page?  How can you get there?

Box #1: 

What is the Ombuds Office?

The Ombuds Office is a confidential, independent, neutral, and informal space for staff to process concerns, get information, and develop options for how to move forward in a difficult situation.  I can provide education, conflict coaching, mediation, and facilitation as well as referrals to other resources across Clemson.  If you are unsure how to move forward in any way, I can help you work through it.

Tessa Byer

Phone:  864-656-5353

Email: tbyer@clemson.edu

Address: 135 Old Greenville Hwy, Ste. 203 (Next to Esso!)

*Save the date for upcoming training offered by the Ombuds:*

Introduction to Mediation

September 19, 2025, from 9 a.m. – noon

Virtually only; sign up here: 

Don’t Tough It Out:  Difficult Situations at Work

October 1, 2025, from 9 a.m. – noon

Location: University Facilities Center; sign up here

Cultivating Resilience

November 3, 2025, from 9-11 a.m.

Location: University Facilities Center; sign up here:

Emotional Intelligence at Work

November 14, 2025, from 9 – 11 a.m.

Virtual; sign up here

Good afternoon! In this month’s newsletter, Staff Senate extends a huge thank you to the participants and sponsors who helped Staff Senate Golf Tournament a great success. The Office of Human Resources is offering a session to learn about the South Carolina Deferred Compensation Program. This month’s newsletter also highlights the various resources offered by Campus Recreation enhance overall well-being, Green Zone Training and more.

President’s Report: June 2025

Staff Senate extends thanks for Golf Tournament success

Learn more about the South Carolina Deferred Compensation Program with monthly education sessions

Ombuds Report June 2025: Self-Undermining Behavior

MBA Virtual Information Session scheduled for July 9

Help boost your overall well-being with Campus Recreation

Join The Office of Military and Veteran Engagement for Green Zone Training

In February, I wrote about the Job-Demands-Resources (JDR) model of work stress. As a reminder, the JDR model says that our collective job demands create stress and strain, which can eventually lead to physical and mental health problems and negative outcomes for our organization. At the same time, our collective job resources inspire motivation, which can lead to positive organizational outcomes, such as productivity, profitability, and employee engagement (see model below).

Job demands could include a difficult co-worker, long work hours, or a tense relationship with your supervisor, while job resources could include a wellness program, adequate annual leave or a trusted relationship with your supervisor. 

For some of these demands and resources, we have no control or way to change them.  None of us can control Clemson’s state mandated annual leave policy no matter how much we might want to.  I mentioned in February that job crafting is something in your control you can do to enhance your job resources. 

On the other hand, there is something in your control you can do to make your job demands even more challenging:  self-undermining.  Self-undermining at work includes not showing up, coming to work late, and having a bad attitude.  Let’s say you have a difficult relationship with your supervisor.  Then you show up late and fail to turn in some assignments on time.  As difficult as it is to have a supervisor who you feel doesn’t like or support you, it’s not going to get any better when you begin to slack off.  Now in addition to the tough relationship, you are creating performance issues for yourself—an added job demand that makes your stress at work increase. 

One of the reasons we begin these cycles of self-undermining behavior is because we feel stuck when our job demands increase.  Instead of figuring out some solutions for the challenging relationship with your supervisor, you might find it simpler to become complacent.  But simple now does not mean easier on you overall.  Your self-undermining behavior will ultimately come back on you—not on the other person. 

When I work with employees who feel that they are the recipient of an unfair evaluation or disciplinary action, I always separate their next steps into two categories.  The first category is the performance one.  If a supervisor is giving direct feedback on what you need to start or stop doing, it’s in your best interest to start or stop doing those things.  If you ignore the specific feedback, your supervisor might decide to take further disciplinary action.  A verbal reprimand that feels unfair can quickly become a suspension that impacts your pay and your reputation in the office. 

The second category is the justice one.  If you feel that an action is unjust or unfair, there are steps to take.  For some situations, there are official appeals processes; for others, writing a rebuttal or making your voice heard in a meeting might be your only recourse.  The key is that these two categories need to happen at the same time.  If you ignore the performance concerns while you fight for justice, you are undermining yourself by creating a bigger mess to clean up.  You can fight for justice while also ensuring that you are responding to a supervisor’s performance concerns. 

In order to break the cycle of self-undermining, we need to identify what our job demands are, and brainstorm some ways to address, mitigate, or remove them.  If you are struggling with a relationship at work, maybe you need some mediation or some help sharing your concerns with the other person.  If you are struggling with motivation or getting your job done on time, maybe you need some help with time management and finding purpose in your work.  If you are unable to advocate for a pay increase, maybe your supervisor will approve a more flexible weekly schedule.  When our job demands rise, we can always combat the process by job crafting and working to increase our job resources in equal measure. 

Things are hard right now at home, in the classroom, at work, and around the world.  Don’t make things even harder on yourself by undermining your own success and stability.

Bakker, A.B. and Demerouti, E. (2007), “The Job Demands‐Resources model: state of the art”, Journal of Managerial Psychology, Vol. 22 No. 3, pp. 309-328. https://doi.org/10.1108/02683940710733115

Box #1: 

What is the Ombuds Office?

The Ombuds Office is a confidential, independent, neutral, and informal space for staff to process concerns, get information, and develop options for how to move forward in a difficult situation.  I can provide education, conflict coaching, mediation, and facilitation as well as referrals to other resources across Clemson.  If you are unsure how to move forward in any way, I can help you work through it.

Tessa Byer

Phone:  864-656-5353

Email: tbyer@clemson.edu

Address: 135 Old Greenville Hwy, Ste. 203 (Next to Esso!)

*Save the date for upcoming training offered by the Ombuds:*

Introduction to Mediation

September 19, 2025, from 9 a.m. – noon

Virtually only; sign up here: 

Don’t Tough It Out:  Difficult Situations at Work

October 1, 2025, from 9 a.m. – noon

Location: University Facilities Center; sign up here

Cultivating Resilience

November 3, 2025, from 9-11 a.m.

Location: University Facilities Center; sign up here:

Emotional Intelligence at Work

November 14, 2025, from 9 – 11 a.m.

Virtual; sign up here

The 2024-2025 academic year is almost over, and we have a new cohort of staff senators, ready to drive lasting change for their constituents. As we prepare for the challenges ahead, we might ask ourselves, “How do we do that?” or “How can I advocate for myself and others?” During the April Staff Senator Training, we’ll delve deeper into these questions. But for now, let’s focus on preparing to advocate, channeling that Tiger Spirit. Let’s face it: advocacy isn’t just about roaring louder. It’s a high-stakes game of emotional chess, a delicate dance of persuasion, and a test of your inner fortitude. Think of it as constructing your own personal “Inner Fortress,” a mental and emotional stronghold that allows you to navigate the tricky terrain of advocating for yourself or others.

Forget the image of a medieval castle with moats and drawbridges. We’re talking about a fortress built on solid foundations: self-awareness, emotional regulation, cognitive resilience, and strategic communication. It’s less about brute force and more about nuanced finesse, a blend of vulnerability and strategic savvy.

Know Thyself (Really Know Thyself). 

This isn’t your casual “I like long walks on the shores of Lake Hartwell” self-awareness. We’re talking digging deep into your values, triggers, and biases, with the same intensity as a student preparing for finals in Cooper Library. Authentic advocacy demands this level of introspection. Consider detailed journaling, producing a narrative analysis, and honestly confronting those moments that make you cringe.

Ever notice you get defensive when your actions are questioned? Journal it! Reflect on it! Recognizing our flaws isn’t weakness; it’s the key to authentic connection. Question your assumptions. Are you listening to understand, or just waiting to pounce? Tools like 360-degree feedback, which gathers input from peers, supervisors, and subordinates, and models like the Johari Window, which maps self-awareness and awareness by others, can provide crucial external perspectives. These tools help illuminate blind spots and create a more complete picture of your impact.

Master Your Emotional Weather.

Advocacy is an emotional rollercoaster. You’ll encounter resistance, frustration, and maybe even a few tears. Emotional regulation is your seatbelt. Empathy and vulnerability are your airbags, cushioning those emotional bumps. Practice active listening. Learn to recognize those emotional triggers and develop strategies to manage them. Maintaining dignity, both for ourselves and others, is a moral imperative. Consider it maintaining a calm, clear head even when the room is spinning.

Build Cognitive Resilience: Your Mental Bungee Cord.

Challenges are inevitable. How you bounce back defines your success. Reframe requests as collaborative opportunities, shifting from “me vs them” to “us vs. the problem.”

Setbacks aren’t failures; they’re learning curves. Conflict can be a catalyst for innovation. See it as turning lemons into lemonade, but with more strategic planning and less sugar.

Communicate Like a Pro (Not a Politician).

This is where your inner fortress translates into outward impact. Speak with clarity, conviction, and honesty. Courageous communication, even when difficult, builds trust. Understand the other person’s perspective. Focus on speaking their language, not just your own.

Influence with Integrity.

Advocacy isn’t about manipulation; it’s about building genuine relationships and fostering collaboration. Align your requests with the values of your audience. Articulate your worth and challenge limiting assumptions. Build trust and psychological safety. Focus on interests rather than positions to find common ground. Conceive of it as finding collaborative solutions, not just winning the argument.

Develop Strategic Harmony

Picture advocacy as crafting elegant bridges, not dramatic bonfires. Advocacy is about influencing from within, not upending from without. Think well-researched proposals over amplified demands. It’s the art of strategic harmony, where lasting change flows from understanding and engaging with existing structures.

What is your toolkit? Solutions, not just critiques. An advocate cultivates alliances, even across differing viewpoints, armed with solid evidence and unwavering professionalism. Aim to navigate policies with finesse, presenting your case with clarity and conviction. The aim is tangible impact, achieved through nuanced dialogue, not disruptive noise.

The Ongoing Journey.

Building your inner fortress is an ongoing process. It requires constant self-reflection, learning, and adaptation. It’s about embracing vulnerability, fostering empathy, and cultivating a growth mindset.

Remember, advocacy isn’t just a skill; it’s a crucial component of ethical leadership and social change. So, build your fortress strong, and go out there and make a difference.

Sources

Brown, Brené. Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. Random House, 2018.

Cabral, Amber. Say More About That: …and Other Ways to Speak Up, Push Back, and Advocate for Yourself and Others. Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2023.

Cialdini, Robert B. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. William Morrow, 1984.

Davey, Liane. The Good Fight: Use Productive Conflict to Get Your Team and Organization Back on Track. Bibliomotion, Inc., 2017.

Dweck, Carol S. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House, 2006.

Fisher, Roger, William Ury, and Bruce Patton. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Penguin Books, 1991.

Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence. Bantam Books, 1995.

Gross, James J. “The Emerging Field of Emotion Regulation: An Integrative Review.” Review of General Psychology, vol. 2, no. 3, 1998, pp. 271–99.

Hansen, Heather. Advocate to Win: 10 Tools to Ask for What You Want and Get It. McGraw-Hill Education, 2013.

Hicks, Donna. Dignity: Its Essential Role in Resolving Conflict. Yale University Press, 2011.

Petty, Richard E., and John T. Cacioppo. Communication and Persuasion: Central and Peripheral Routes to Attitude Change. Springer-Verlag, 1986.

Pink, Daniel H. To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others. Riverhead Books, 2012.

Schein, Edgar H., and Peter A. Schein. Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling. Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2013.

Tannen, Deborah. You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. William Morrow, 1990.

“Take it slow, and things will be just fine, you and I’ll just use a little patience”. -GnR

It’s astonishing how quickly the academic year flies by! Spring break is nearly upon us, and the 2024-2025 school year is rapidly approaching its conclusion. I began my tenure in the Ombuds Office at the start of this year and recently completed my probationary period and review. During this time, I’ve been eager to develop my skills as an Ombuds, dedicated to supporting everyone at the University. Like many, I entered this role with ambitious goals. I aspired to provide the same level of service and support as more experienced Ombuds. However, I soon realized that training and experience, both crucial components, cannot be acquired overnight. Initially, I experienced frustration when I had to defer to the expertise of others. I spent countless hours contemplating how to expedite my training to provide the full range of services our office offers. I even lost sleep reflecting on the counseling, mediation, and group discussion sessions I attended, searching for a ‘quick fix’ to gain substantial experience. The truth, as I’ve learned, is that there is no shortcut.

In our constant pursuit of self-improvement and goal achievement, it’s vital to remember the wisdom of St. Francis de Sales, who, in his book, An Introduction to the Devout Life, advises, “Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.” Cultivating patience is a gradual journey, requiring the development of specific skills and mindsets. How, then, can we slow down in our fast-paced world, allowing ourselves time to savor life, reflect, and grow?

Here are several strategies to aid you on your path:

1. Cultivate Mindfulness:
   • As I discussed with the Staff Senate in December, learning to “press pause” is essential. Mindfulness involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. This practice diminishes the tendency to dwell on the past or worry about the future, both of which fuel impatience. Becoming aware of the physical and emotional sensations that arise when impatience surfaces, and observing these feelings without reacting, can lessen their power (eMindful).
2. Shift Your Perspective:
   • View delays and obstacles as opportunities for reflection and learning. When faced with a frustrating situation and feelings of impatience, consider the root cause of your discomfort (BetterUp). Acknowledge that certain situations are beyond your control. Focus your energy on what you can influence and release the rest.
3. Focus on Emotional Intelligence:
   • Stress and anxiety can amplify impatience. Techniques such as exercise, relaxation, and adequate sleep can help regulate these emotions (Calm.com). Practice self-compassion when impatience arises, recognizing it as a common human experience.
4. Build Tolerance for Discomfort:
   • Practice patience through small, everyday opportunities. Patience is a skill, developed over time. Begin by embracing minor annoyances, such as traffic delays or waiting in line at the grocery store. Practice resisting the urge for immediate gratification to strengthen your ability to wait and persevere (Goodwall).
5. Enhance Interpersonal Skills:
   • Practice active listening, truly hearing others without interrupting or formulating your response. As we emphasize in our Conflict Management training, strive to understand perspectives from a shared foundation rather than imposing your own. Allow others ample time to express themselves without judgment or assumptions, focusing on their intended message. Pay attention to your body language and learn to manage your emotional responses.

By consistently implementing these strategies, we can gradually cultivate greater patience and enhance our overall well-being. Taking the time to appreciate life, live in the present, and extend grace to ourselves allows us the space and energy to achieve our goals. Let’s all embrace a little patience as we enjoy spring break and finish the school year with vigor!

Citations:

• BetterUp. (n.d.). How to be more patient: 8 tips to try. Retrieved from https://www.betterup.com/blog/how-to-be-more-patient
• Calm.com. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.calm.com/
• eMindful. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://emindful.com/
• Goodwall. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.goodwall.io/
• St. Francis de Sales. (n.d.). An introduction to the devout life.

What is the Ombuds Office?

The Ombuds Office is a confidential, independent, neutral, and informal space for staff to process concerns, get information, and develop options for how to move forward in a difficult situation. I can provide education, conflict coaching, mediation, and facilitation as well as referrals to other resources across Clemson. If you are unsure how to move forward in any way, I can help you work through it.

Michael Scott

Phone:  864-656-6353

Email:  mesctt@clemson.edu

Address:  135 Old Greenville Hwy, Ste. 203 (Next to Esso!)

*Save the date for upcoming training offered by the Ombuds:*

Cultivating Resilience

March 27, 2025 from 9:00 to 11:00

Virtually only, sign up here: 

https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/5e898aea/sessions/5440/enroll

Introduction to Mediation

April 16, 2025 from 9:00 to 12:00

In person at University Facilities Center, sign up here:

https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/648ef8d6/enroll

Giving Effective Feedback

June 20, 2025 from 9:00 to 10:30

Virtually only, sign up here: 

https://clemson.bridgeapp.com/learner/training/3bc50439/sessions/5493/enroll

At times, things are difficult at work, and there’s nothing we can do about it.  We might have a colleague we have asked to include us in meetings, and still they ignore and exclude us.  We might have a supervisor we have brought concerns to, and they don’t do anything in response.  Maybe we just have a job that is boring or isn’t exactly what we want to be doing, but this is the job we have.  There is so much at work that is stressful that is out of our control.  But what about what is in our control?

I mentioned in a recent Staff Senate meeting that I am taking a class in the Industrial and Organizational Psychology program, and this semester, I am in Survey to Occupational Health with Dr. Robert Sinclair.  Learning about the different theories and strategies for occupational health has been incredibly relevant and helpful in the work that I do.  In class, we have been talking a lot lately about the different models of work stress.  One of these models, created by A. B. Bakker and E. Demerouti (2007), is called the Job-Demands-Resources model, or JDR.  JDR says that our collective job demands create stress and strain, which can eventually lead to physical and mental health problems and negative outcomes for the organization.  For example, if we have to lift heavy things daily, we might experience muscle strain that could eventually become an injury.  On the mental health side, if we feel demeaned and bullied by a supervisor, we might experience daily shame, fear, and anger, which can lead to increased depression and anxiety.  Either of these could lead to turnover, absenteeism, and a less well workforce. 

At the same time, the JDR model says that our collective job resources motivate us, which can lead to positive organizational outcomes, such as productivity, profitability, and employee engagement.  Job resources include autonomy, feedback, support, and even tangibles such as adequate annual leave.  When we have sufficient resources, we feel more motivated to do the work we need to do, and the organization benefits.  These two, interconnected processes are detailed below. 

Many of our job demands and job resources are just parts of the gig.  We can bring up our concerns, and we can (and should) advocate for ourselves.  However, even if change occurs, it will come slowly.  In the meantime, the idea of job crafting lets us take action now by enhancing our job resources on our own.  Job crafting essentially says if we cannot get what we need from our jobs, can we find that resource elsewhere?  If we are not getting the support we need from our supervisor, maybe we can find a mentoring relationship elsewhere and seek support outside of the formal hierarchy.  If we do not have the autonomy we want, maybe we can take on a separate project or join a staff development program like CU Grow that allows us to direct some of our own work.  Job crafting begins by taking stock of what we have and what we don’t have and then brainstorming ways to get what we need.  Here are some ideas:

• Apply for a development program like CU Grow, Extension Emerging Leadership Institute, or CCIT’s Leadership Development Program.
• Run for Staff Senate, or if you already have, run for a leadership position.
• Find external trainings that could enhance your skills and knowledge.
• Find colleagues and mentors who are willing to share feedback with you.
• Connect with colleagues on a personal level.  Maybe go to lunch or after-hours events.
• Look for gaps in what your department does, and present a plan for how you could take on responsibilities to fill that gap.
• Volunteer to do something you haven’t done before, such as present in front of the whole division or author a report.

At some point, you might decide that the job you have is ultimately not the job you want.  But changing jobs is also not simple or quick.  While you have the job you have, take some time to craft it into what you want it to be.  In addition to strengthening your skills and engagement, job crafting increases your job satisfaction and overall happiness.  Craft away!

Bakker, A.B. and Demerouti, E. (2007), “The Job Demands‐Resources model: state of the art”, Journal of Managerial Psychology, Vol. 22 No. 3, pp. 309-328. https://doi.org/10.1108/02683940710733115